I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
