found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
