kristin has been a bad kristin
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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