They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
