It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
