He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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