Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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