yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
