the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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