I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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