Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize