Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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