he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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