I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
