All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
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You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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