i may or may not be watching the land before time
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
