Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
