This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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