i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
