Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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