I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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