guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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