I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
