Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
