I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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