hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
