so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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