i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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