he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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