Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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