I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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