I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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