This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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then he tried to convert me to islam
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
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Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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