I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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