Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
