Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
These tits shall not be calmed
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
