I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
