i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You have to summon your inner elephant
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
