There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.