Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
