Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is her dick bigger than yours?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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