that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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