I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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