cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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