Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
operation have a gay friend backfired
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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