Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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