Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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