bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
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You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
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I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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