Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
