Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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