never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
