I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
