I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
