Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
