Cold hands, warm shart.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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