I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
