I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
